it's been 4 days and i am wretchedly lonely, starved, and depressed!
without you here, i've had no one to feed me! to love me! look after me! i am absolutely lost without you!
even the most basic of needs i cannot fulfill!
i have no one to keep me warm at night! no one to help me make sandwiches to eat! no one to hand me a piece of gum when my breath stinks! no one to show me where the extra toilet paper is! seriously, where is the extra toilet paper!
has anybody seen my wife, laura?
here is a picture of her:
she has blond hair, blue eyes, and is about average height. she's amazingly gorgeous and has most recently been spotted on the east coast, around the carolinas, apparently with a huge new pair of shoes.
please please laura come back to me!
my life is miserable without you!
i need you!
5 comments:
Ah this is so clever, cute, funny! Congrats to you both on all the life changes! Hopefully our paths will cross soon in San Diego:)
hahaha james love! i've missed you something crazy too! you're so wonderful. it's nearly driven me out of my mind to be away. the toilet paper is under the bathroom sink! and hang on! i'm coming! home! to your arms!
Hellllllllooooooo James!
Seems to me that I've seen her recently but it could be that those she's been hiding out w/ may choose to permanently kidnap her for their selfish desires!!!
Perhaps if you are a really really good boy while she is gone she will be returned to you safely ...but there must be ransom paid in FULL for her return to you! The ransom must be $100,000,000,000 paid in increments of $1 during individual visits. The kidnappers will contact you regarding each drop location.
Well has the lost wifey come back to you safe and sound? she is coming back to a very wet California, but, hey it never rains in California
The blog contains everything that would warm an old man's heart. Keep at it James and Laura and, remember, God has made one from two and your marriage will be blessed.
BY: WhoseDat
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