An Yi Wedding

Recently James and I (together with another American couple) were invited to an Yi wedding in the village. As the 15-year-old bride's guests, we felt so privileged to witness unique traditions and participate in the festivities. We're excited to give an account of the experience.

Dressing the Bride

On the morning of the wedding, the young bride's family and friends gather in the courtyard of her family home. Her mother empties a small basket of pine needles and manure--fresh from the pig pen--on the concrete floor. She then lays a heavy woolen mat over the mulch for her daughter to stand upon as she dresses. Others set a bowl of soup, a tray of boiled eggs, a bisected pig head, and a bottle of liquor on one end of the mat. One woman explains the fertilizer and edibles are blessings on the bride and will bring her fertility and prosperity in her marriage.

Though the observance of tradition seems intentional, the atmosphere in the courtyard is decidedly casual and jovial. Children run about squealing, dogs are half-heartedly shooed away, and those gathered to watch laugh easily with one another. The bride's mother is busy with other preparations for her daughter's departure, so it is primarily an aunt who helps her dress.

Over leggings and a long-sleeved tee, the bride pulls on a floor-length, colorful skirt. Though the skirt's band is elastic, a long white sash is wound around her waist to hold it up (reminiscent of days past when such conveniences as elastic weren't available). Next the bride is buttoned into an elaborate tunic. The sleeves are a brilliant blue; the bodice is blue, pink, and black with red and gold machine embroidery.

The bride kneels so her aunt can comb her hair back into a low pony tail. Her headdress, a rectangular bolt of cloth, is tied to her head with a black horse-tail braid. As the bride stands, strands of red and silver beads dangle from the headdress in large loops, hanging well past her shoulders. She hooks large silver earrings through her pierced earlobes as her aunt drapes a black wool cape over her shoulders. The bride tugs on her red boots, holding her head carefully erect to avoid jarring her headdress or tangling her jewelry.

There is some disagreement among the crowd as to how her yellow shawl should be worn. Grandpa argues that it should be used to veil her face, but the bride's opinion prevails and it is simply draped around her neck. To finish the dressing ceremony, a young male cousin is called to carry her from the mat on his back. Everyone laughs and cheers as he quickly sets her down.

To the Groom's House We Go

Just outside the gate three cars are waiting with several of the bride's male in-laws. They and her own male relatives escort her to the groom's village and family home. To our surprise, we learn that none of her female friends nor family members are invited to this part of the celebration. We are given an exception, but are cautioned to give the bride at least an hour's head start before driving there ourselves.

Though we are not present when the bride arrives, we later hear that she was ushered directly to a guest room where she remains hidden away for most of the festivities. Historically, many Yi weddings were the result of arranged marriages (or kidnappings). An Yi bride becomes the lowest member in the groom's family pecking order, and has often barely met her affianced. In addition, an Yi bride should be mourning leaving her own family. It would be inappropriate for her to display undue pleasure at her new situation. She can't be seen drinking and dancing on her wedding day. Fortunately for our friend, this is a match she desires. Her timidity and terror has to be feigned--at least in part.

The party nearly comes to a screeching halt when we arrive. Hundreds of jaws drop. Thankfully, we know what to do. We came prepared with our "hong bao" red envelopes with gifts of cash. We find the men collecting the money, and they sigh in audible relief when we introduce ourselves in Chinese. Lunch is being served, and a table is quickly cleared for us. A dozen dishes are set before us as two hundred people or so crowd around to watch us eat. Our appearances, chopstick skills, and identities are heavily discussed in Chinese and Yi. It is comical.

After lunch, James and a friend meet and congratulate the groom. A handsome 26-year-old, nothing distinguishes him as the man of the day. He wears black slacks and a crimson sports coat over a checked button-down. He warmly welcomes the guys, offers them each a cigarette, and sits them down with the other men to a table covered in beer bottles. They toast one another for a little while until a disturbance draws them away.

The Water Fight

The father of the bride has brought the half pig's head and bottle of liquor that was used in the dressing ceremony. To these he has added a large wad of cash and placed all three items in a tray as a gift for the newlyweds. However, when he presents the tray to the groom's family, it is counted and returned! They tell the bride's family that it is too miserly a gift! It is a light-hearted and joking exchange that is part of many weddings, but the groom's family is determined to bully the bride's family into a better gift for everyone's entertainment.

Women from the groom's side threaten to kill a pig to offset what is lacking in the gift. They drag the doomed hog through the courtyard, nearly inciting a riot. Soon the pig is the central object in a tug of war. The cash is offered again, and rejected again. This time, buckets of water are tossed over the guests for emphasis. More cash is offered, and lots more water thrown. One woman chases down the offending in-laws with the greasy pig head as a weapon. Eventually everyone is sopping wet and the bride's side has rounded up enough money to satisfy everyone present that the newlyweds will have a decent financial start in life together.

Minority Dancing

After coats are wrung out and hung to dry, the women not already wearing traditional Yi dresses change. For an hour or two they dance, often insisting that we girls do too. Occasionally some of the male guests join in, though they tend to be more interested in gambling, cards, and drinking. We dance in a circle holding hands. The steps are simple, but the day is hot and we are quickly worn out. Eventually we women all give up and sit together in the shade drinking juice and tea.

As the Wedding Day Turns to Night

Late in the day the bride reappears. Once again fertilizer is spread, a mat laid upon it, and the pig's head, alcohol, soup, and eggs set out. She is carried from her room on her sister-in-law's back. The women from the groom's side remove her headdress, comb her hair, and braid it in double braids to symbolize her transition from maidenhood to womanhood.

Dinner is served in much the same manner as lunch. And actually, it IS lunch, reheated. The bride eats with a few of her female in-laws and then is once again returned to her confinement (after quickly sneaking off to relieve herself in the cornfield). She keeps two little girls who are related to the groom close at all times. In fact, we learn from one woman that she will have the girls sleep on either side of her tonight for protection. The newlyweds are not only kept separate throughout their wedding day, but are unlikely to consummate their marriage on their wedding night. Looking around at the men--most of whom have been drinking since early the day before--it's easy to see the wisdom in this tradition. Besides, one woman says with unusual directness, there's too many guests staying the night for the couple to have any privacy.

We are asked to stay the night too, and pressured by our kind (and intoxicated) hosts to at least remain until the pig is killed around midnight (and eaten all through the hours of the morning). We know, however, that there is no room for us and make our excuses.

What a celebration. What a different world.