the ROSENBLOG: weddings

Recently, our Chinese teacher (and dear friend) was married. Chinese weddings are quite a bit different than American ones. There are several obvious differences. For one, wedding attire is every-day casual. No "dress-up" clothes? No problem--sandals, jeans, and a t-shirt will do just fine. Secondly, the ceremony is practically non-existent. While nearly all American weddings have some sort of proceeding that formalizes the marriage before witnesses, a Chinese wedding just includes a reception. Finally, the duration of a Chinese wedding is often all day! Actually the only real similarity is that the bride and groom wear formal clothes and food is provided for all guests.

This is basically how a Chinese wedding goes down. Together with their families, the couple plans at least two different celebrations (sometimes 3 or 4). They hold one wedding in each hometown they grew up in, plus another for whatever city they are currently living in. You invite as many people as you can possibly host, everybody brings money as their wedding gift, and the wedding party will feeds the masses. The invitees show up, give their money in red envelopes, eat, and then leave. It's kind of like a revolving door. Usually the wedding venue will open their doors in the morning for the first batch of guests, who arrive for lunch anywhere between 9 AM and 12:30 PM. During that time the bride and groom stand at the entrance to welcome guests and present handfuls of candy, sunflower seeds, and cigarettes. Once most guests have arrived, the couple visits tables pouring tea and trading toasts. The bride and groom sit down to their own meal only after everyone else has eaten (and most guests have left).

After lunch most guests depart for the afternoon. Older friends and relatives entertain themselves playing Mahjong, while the bride, groom, their siblings and closest friends cruise the streets. There is lots of picture-taking and throwing lit firecrackers out of moving vehicles. The wedding party returns by 4:30 so the couple can resume their posts passing out cigarettes and candy to the second batch of guests arriving for dinner. This goes on until 6 or 7 PM. This time the couple visits each table exchanging toasts with some form of alcohol, guest to guest. After all the guests have eaten, the bride and groom have their own meal. After the food, usually it's time for more drinking (if they already haven't had too much). Close friends and family will take the bride and groom out to karaoke or somewhere social to spend the rest of the night getting drunk. This is not so fun.

Funny how Americans make the car look goofy and fun. Chinese folks make it look as expensive as possible.


The day before the wedding, the bride/groom choose a "harmonious" couple to make their bed with their brand new red sheets. (This was the first we'd heard of this tradition, and we were touched to be given such an honor!)