A Year, Grounded

It has been a year of Covid-19 shut-downs for the whole world and a year in a new home for us Rosenbergs. What a stressful kick-off we had to the Pandemic! We moved house the weekend after a stay-at-home order was issued in North Carolina. Bare grocery shelves, the kids' first and fourth birthdays celebrated alone, an Easter in isolation, and a crash course in becoming all of Adelyn's therapists through virtual instruction at once made for an extra challenging transition!

No one in our household has gotten sick with Covid-19 so far. Adelyn was in and out of the ER a few times, and she was hospitalized for a week after an infection got into her bloodstream, but she's recovered well. Owen's preschool shut down, then re-opened. James never was able to return to China to retrieve our belongings--instead we closed up our apartment there virtually with the help of friends. (That was months ago--our boxes are still being held by customs in a shipping warehouse in Shanghai.) Both James and I have gotten our second vaccinations (because we're caregivers of a "medically fragile child.")  We continue to take Covid precautions seriously, as Adelyn is in the high risk category (and we just want to take care of our fellow man in general too). A year in, we're still a family, the house is still standing, and we're all the more grateful for God's grace on our lives.

In January 2021, Adelyn began crawling. She is now pulling to stand with the help of braces! She has so many words now! She calls all of her family members and cousins by name, her comprehension is great, and she's so cute when she sings along to her favorite songs. She very much wants to do everything Owen does, which means she is determined to wash her own hands, brush her teeth, and put on her shoes by herself (with varying amounts of success depending on the activity.) Though eating continues to be a challenge for her, she can feed herself cheerios and is spoon fed her homemade purée meals every day. Then she gets the remaining 50% of her nutrition via her G-tube after she falls asleep at night. To put this in perspective, a specialist once told us Adelyn wouldn't live more than three days, and if she did she wouldn't be able to see, eat, or move on her own, much less be capable of language or walk. Our girl is a wonder, she's a miracle, she's a joy, and she's a fighter. We are so so so proud of her!

Owen has grown up so much! He continues to be a nature-loving animal enthusiast, is on the cusp of reading, and he just recently began creating sheets upon sheets of drawings on a daily basis. His room is a sea of paper sharks, anacondas, caracals, piranha and birds of every feather. We're so grateful for preschool, for the close proximity of some of his cousins, and for masked outdoor playdates with our cul-de-sac neighbors. Owen's an amazing big brother, a sweet human being, and just so much fun.

James and I are still making sense of all that has changed in our lives over the course of two years. What a difference! Adelyn will turn two in April. At that age, Owen had visited five different countries and flown more than 60 times. Addie, on the other hand, has rarely left the house, except to go to the hospital. We lived on the other side of the world, spoke a different language, and spent as much time as we could with an impoverished minority people. Now we encourage and equip those who will go where we can't from afar, try to understand a home culture that is in some ways unrecognizable, and focus on helping each other survive and thrive another day. There is purpose, there is beauty, and there is pain in being remade. As we look ahead to April birthdays and Easter, we give ourselves over to God, knowing He is good and faithful. He makes all things new!

Holidays, Quarantine, and the ER

It's a week into the summer, it's months into the pandemic, and it's time for me to write an update on the Spring. I am sure your past three months were crazy too, because I can't think of anyone worldwide who hasn't been affected by Covid-19. Who else feels like we're living in an alternate reality?

Two weeks after North Carolina's stay at home order, we moved house. Our timing is impeccable, no? Ha. It was stressful for sure, but we managed to relocate with just a rented truck and my sister's family's help. As the realities of quarantine settled in for us, we stretched out in a fairly empty new home. (Furnishing a place when half our belongings remain in East Asia and stores are closed presented a unique challenge. We are still without a couch or bed frame or dressers! It hasn't been that big of a deal. We can wait.) James kept busy with house projects (memorably falling through the ceiling while installing lighting), Owen burned off steam in the yard and cul-de-sac (he's mastered his balance bike), Addie spread out in her own room and enjoyed neighborhood strolls, and I planted a quarantine container garden.

In April we celebrated Easter, Owen's birthday, my birthday, and Addie's birthday all in rapid succession! It was...different. Being able to gather with family and friends to commemorate milestones is so important to our human experience. As special as I strove to make it, Adelyn's first birthday seemed especially muted. Addie wasn't going to get excited about a socially distanced car parade or be able to devour a smash cake, and the absence of those who had helped her fight for her life this first year was felt. Nevertheless, your messages of love sang out over the silence of isolation. Thank you. And even without the crowd of loved ones, there was so much to celebrate. Gratefulness for miracles, life, and hope abounded in our hearts.

The interruption of Adelyn's nursing care, the suspension of her therapies, and the deferment of her doctor's appointments were especially difficult over the past 17 weeks. Many parents can relate to feeling the pressure to be all things for their kids--teacher, sole playmate, barber, chef, etc. In addition, I am now serving as my daughter's physical, occupational, speech, and feeding therapists (via virtual instruction).

One happy event was that UNC's Feeding Clinic decided that Adelyn was an urgent case, and they made an exception for her to be seen and treated. Under their care and direction, Adelyn's comfort with her tube feeds and progression in eating by mouth has improved dramatically. By the end of April, she had transitioned from breastmilk to a "real food" blenderized formula that she now gets through her g-tube four times a day (as opposed to 6+ times a day that was her previous norm). She also started a medicine that has almost completely curbed her nausea. It's been a game changer. Without all the vomiting, her interest in purees has slowly grown. She is taking teeny oral meals three times a day now! She is still dependent on her tube feeds for nutrition and growth, but she's clearly moving in the right direction. Her quality of life has dramatically improved, and our whole family has felt a weight lifted as we cheer her on!

In May Adelyn got sick and developed a high fever. Because of Covid-19 restrictions and the constant concern of a shunt infection, she was sent straight to the ER. It was fascinating being ushered directly to an infectious disease isolation room, being treated by doctors and nurses in hazmat suits, and communicating through walkie-talkies. Adelyn tested negative for Covid-19, was diagnosed with another infection, and was fairly quickly released with antibiotics. How thankful we were that she could be treated at home, but we didn't quite make it through the pandemic without an emergency. It was less terrifying than I had originally imagined--perhaps because the initial rush of adrenaline carried us through the experience, ha. She continued to battle an extremely high fever through that weekend, and had to have some follow-up visits, but Adelyn has completely recovered.

Mother's Day, James' birthday, and Father's Day have all come and gone. James had hoped to travel back to East Asia to pack up our remaining belongings and close up shop. Alas, the pandemic has halted flights between the two countries (and he would've been subjected to long quarantines on both ends of a trip). We are accustomed to living in limbo and trust that there will be another opportunity before James' visa expires this autumn.

Now with the relaxing of Covid-19 restrictions in our area, Adelyn has had a packed couple of weeks playing catch-up with doctor appointments. It has been overwhelmingly good news. The eye specialist, neurologist, and cardiologist all say she looks fantastic! Her feeding team is excited for all her successes, big and small. Addie was tested by a pediatric psychologist guru on all her milestones and has significant delays in her motor, language, and cognitive development, but that was expected. Her numerous therapies continue virtually. She's growing, progressing, and charming us in all areas of her life. We are so proud of our little fighter!

There continue to be family, local, and world events that have felt heavy and sobering this spring and summer. We continue to be very cautious as the pandemic continues. Yet despite all odds, life for the Rosenbergs (especially our youngest family member) has improved. Thank you for your prayers, gifts, and help. Please keep lifting us and (and specifically Adelyn) up to the One who is the giver of all good things. May you too, be finding hope in Jesus, the only guy who has any control of what goes down in this crazy world in this unprecedented era.

Stay safe and healthy, all!

The Doggy Paddle: A Lament

If 2019 was brutal for us Rosenbergs, 2020 has been savage. Since I last posted, it seems each week has brought it's own crisis. It is incredible how many mundane and unexceptional events can tear apart the fragile raft we lash together to keep our family afloat. So quickly, so easily, we find ourselves back in the relentless waves, just doing whatever we can to keep our heads above water.

First there are the challenges of our everyday life:

Feeding Adelyn continues to be a struggle. She began carefully controlled tastes of purees a while back, but she only eats a couple teeny tiny bites each day. (Her favorites are sweet potato and avocado. She hates zucchini.) It is a painstaking process to coax her to swallow and to keep her experiences around eating positive. Almost 100% of her calories are pumped into her stomach through her G-tube over the course of a hour, six times a day (every three hours during the daytime). We have trouble keeping that milk in her, as she throws up two to four of her meals every single day (and I do mean throw up--it arcs out of her mouth, comes out her nose, sprays the walls, bedding, floors, and soaks herself and us). We do a lot of laundry. Because Adelyn can't sit up on her own, someone is always nearby and on watch to make sure she doesn't choke on her vomit. Then she has movement restrictions to remain upright for 30 minutes following each feed as a precaution. If you're doing the math, that leaves a mere hour and a half for anything else before the whole feeding process begins again. I am still pumping and providing all of Adelyn's breastmilk, which is also very time consuming (and sleep depriving). This is just a sketch of the main points of her nutritional care. Imagine feeding colic-y triplets for a year who never grow out of the newborn stage--that's what it's like.

Adelyn enjoys a picnic.

Adelyn's development has fallen well behind norms, but she continues to make gains each week. She still cannot sit unsupported, but she is keeping her head up, is better able to hold and manipulate her toys, and is learning how to balance. She has three therapy sessions at home every week (physical therapy, occupational therapy, and speech/feeding therapy), and her PT and OT especially enjoy working with her because of her social personality and the progress we can see her making. Adelyn and I enjoy these times too. I learn how to do exercises with her that are appropriate for her ability level, and she gets a good baby massage that eases some of the tension and discomfort she experiences.

Our girl is also followed monthly by Duke's special infant care clinic, sees a slew of specialists, and has bi-weekly weight and head circumference checks at the pediatrician. The parking, check-in, visit, and return home from these doctor appointments invariably takes longer than her 1.5 hour window of not eating, so even if I have timed the trips as ideally as possible, I have to pack us up to do a mobile feed (this includes a cooler of her milk and meds, all her feeding gear, my hand pump, etc). James and I spend a ridiculous amount of time on the phone ordering her medical supplies, waiting in pharmacy lines, dealing with insurance, and slogging through disability assistance applications for her.

Adelyn stretches with her occupational therapist.

Those are some of the pieces that are most likely outside your experience of caring for a baby. But there are still all the other important things like cuddling, bathing, dressing our girl up, celebrating each new tooth, kissing her all over, changing poopy diapers (blowouts galore, ha), making her smile and laugh, reading to her, playing with her, taking her for walks, singing her to sleep, and so on. Never, not even for a second, do we take for granted that we get to do these things with her. We love and treasure each moment with our sweet girl!

Owen is amazing. He is an incredible conversationalist. He will tell you the entire tale of the Wizzard of Oz or Cinderella (which he learned through oral story telling) in compelling detail, or regale you with the facts he knows about Madagascar's biodiversity, and not fail to ask after your health. But he misses China, worries about death and separation from his family, and he craves our constant and full attention (which is of course impossible for any parent to give all the time). Preschool has been an awesome outlet, as it has given Owen peer friendships as well as allowed me to direct my focus elsewhere while he's otherwise entertained.

Meanwhile, James has been busy with figuring out what God wants from us in this season and how to support our family. Though our hearts long to return to East Asia (we in no way feel like that work is finished), Addie's medical needs are just too great. This is a huge transition for our family. Our previous overseas lifestyle and living expenses don't translate back into America well--we've (unsurprisingly) found ourselves insufficiently prepared for this drastic change. So James has been exploring stateside ministry opportunities, interviewing with various teams and organizations, as well as going to school part-time. Oh, and did I mention we're trying to remodel and furnish and move into another place with all the extra time on our hands?

James gave Adelyn a carnation for Valentine's Day.

To make all this work, I take the day shift, and James takes the night shift with Addie. That means in our current little 700 foot, two-bedroom space, I sleep in Owen's room on a spare twin bed. (This has been our living arrangement since this past autumn.) James and I are like ships passing in the night. Or like two channel swimmers who have to cross an ocean with kids along for the ride--one parent towing the others in turns. There is no chance for privacy, for connection, or for healthy communication. Friends? Exercise? Ha. My housekeeping has become deplorable. James does dishes and I do laundry, and that's all there is time for! I'm lucky to get a shower (we do bathe the kids, however). There doesn't even really seem to be an end of the day. Besides all the effort and energy it takes, the worry over the minutiae of our lives is consuming. There are the imagined dangers and the very real threats of jellyfish and sharks without any way to avoid them in either instance. We're just doggedly doggy paddling.

Second, there is the wear-and-tear and the emergencies that make us feel like we are sinking:

The physical and mental pressure is pretty intense. After a couple doctor visits, I discovered that the headaches I've been experiencing, a change in vision, and a broken filling are all stress induced. You may laugh to hear me bemoan my gray hair which is falling out in tufts, but man. All the muscles in my face constantly twitch. Three nights ago (or four? five?) I chewed through a newly prescribed dental guard. Owen struggles with emotional regulation when Adelyn is throwing up, and often tries to block us from assisting her (because it's awful to watch and he hates having our attention suddenly "stolen away.") James carries the omnipresent weight of providing financially while feeling trapped in a set of circumstances he never envisioned for our family. We've attended church together as a family exactly twice since Addie was born. James and I haven't been on a date since our ten-year anniversary last November.

There are lots of gifts that have helped. After we spent our deductible last year, insurance covered the hundreds of thousands of dollars in medical bills. We also qualified for some at home skilled nursing care, which has been invaluable in allowing me to run errands twice a week and to get Owen to and from preschool. And the generosity of family and friends has helped us put food on our table, clothes on our backs, and a roof over our heads (very very literally). We have felt the grace and love of Christ in these demonstrations so tangibly.

Yet just when we feel like we might have found a sandbar where we can put our feet down to rest for a minute, a rip tide grabs us and hurls us even farther out to sea. Once upon a time I would've told myself to take a splash in the face and turn it into a lark, but everyday I am trying not to drown and any unexpected gulp of sea water just makes me choke. 

Flu season hit at about the same time unusual weather blew into town. Power outages after a tornado and severe weather caused local schools to shut down, which meant that Owen was home with me, which meant I couldn't take Addie to a long-awaited doctor's appointment because Owen wasn't allowed to accompany me to the hospital and James had class. A similar situation occurred when our area got a small amount of snow. The schools closed, and the nurse who was scheduled to come care for Adelyn canceled because she had kids of her own to watch. I had to cancel a doctor's appointment of my own and was only able to make it to the grocery store that week because my sister swooped in and saved the day.

Owen catches snowflakes on his tongue

during the single snowstorm of the season.

Owen has gotten several colds that worsened quickly and has needed nebulizer treatments frequently. Two weeks ago, he ended up with pneumonia and was unable to catch his breath even after breathing treatments. He was coughing so much he kept throwing up and we struggled to keep him hydrated. Now he's suffering from allergies and the meds necessary to keep his airways open are time consuming (and hype him up). I didn't know whether to laugh or cry the other day when Addie was eating, I was pumping, and Owen was doing his breathing treatment (the humidifier and dehumidifier were running in their respective rooms too)--we had ALL the pumps going at the same time.

Owen calls the nebulizer mask his "chicken dragon," ha.

I broke the filling in a molar and had to seek emergency dental help. I didn't have a dentist, the nursing agency was struggling to cover any shifts for us that week, and Owen's preschool had a couple teacher-in-service days. Finding childcare was nearly an insurmountable challenge to getting my tooth fixed.

Two weeks ago, Adelyn was having some alarming symptoms--worse than usual nausea, elevated heart rate, lethargy, and some swelling at the base of her skull. She and I ended up at the ER, but the pediatric ward was full, and we had to remain in the waiting room for three hours. It took another seven hours to complete the imaging to ascertain it had been a false alarm (for shunt or heart failure). I didn't get to eat, pee, or put my baby down all day, but still had to pump and run all Addie's mobile feeds. James couldn't attend class because someone needed to pick up Owen from preschool and be with him for the remainder of the day. Then to top it all off, I forgot the diaper bag, but James had chosen not to grab Owen's car seat, and so we had to call in all the favors to get ourselves straightened out.

Recently Adelyn's g-tube site began to show signs of irritation, and we've since been fighting skin deterioration and infection around the area.

Meanwhile come the Covid-19 shut downs. We've felt the virus creeping up on us since January as we watched friends and our business partner go through quarantine in East Asia during the initial outbreak there. Our old business has had to switch to online classes in a context poorly equipped for that, and we sympathized with all the challenges our friends were experiencing in the disruption of their lives. Now that the virus has reached us, we are feeling the impact to our own family in acute ways.

In addition to the closing of Owen's preschool and James' classes being canceled, the help we've depended upon for Adelyn has been interrupted. Her weekly therapies have been discontinued indefinitely, a favorite nurse is no longer able to provide care because of exposure, and all of Adelyn's appointments have been moved to after May. I can't even verbalize how disheartening all that is. James had planned to travel back to East Asia during spring break to close up our apartment and retrieve the remainder of our personal belongings. (Due to a sad miscommunication, my spring/summer wardrobe is still overseas. Most of my warm weather clothing here is maternity wear!) But with quarantines on both ends and likely travel bans extending through the spring from both countries, that trip is a near impossibility. Our rental lease ends soon, and we don't yet have a solution to this problem. Worst of all, Owen (with his asthma) and Adelyn with her pre-existing medical complications place our kiddos in a vulnerable category. If we can escape this season without another ER run or hospitalization it will be a miracle.

But third, there is the promise that Christ is in it all:

When I read back over what I've written so far, I fear that I've already shared too much, but feel like I've only scratched the surface of what we're experiencing. I want to see our 11-month-old Adelyn healthy--eating a banana by herself, in a high chair, that is pulled up to a dining table the whole family can fit around. I crave a bowl of liang fen jelly noodles from my favorite hole-in-the-wall restaurant on the other side of the world, and I miss talking about Jesus with my EA friends. I want Owen to have the books, puzzles and toys I made James cart overseas in ridiculously overweight baggage. I want to have purpose beyond keeping my family members alive, and I long for a home and community that feels like my own. I'd prefer to be the one serving others rather than making desperate pleas for help. Instead of doggy paddling, I want to be taking long, powerful, go-the-distance strokes in the water. And I don't want to be so angry that I can't have any of those things right now.

For what is it that I'm promised? That this life would be easy? That the current would never pull me under? That I wouldn't drown? No. I am not promised any of that. Instead I am promised that the One who walked on water is with me. And that is enough.

So maybe we will get through this. Perhaps those who have shown us such love will continue to throw us lifelines. Maybe we'll soon reach that sandy shore. But maybe the storm will worsen and some or all of our family will be lost to the sea. It feels that real to me. Well, then, let me be at peace knowing I doggy paddled til there was nothing left, and if I sink, that I sank calling out to Christ whom I trust with my family, my life, and my death.

Prayer Requests
Please continue to pray for Adelyn Gray and our family:

1. One happy result of Adelyn's most recent ER run was that the imaging showed her brain has rebounded dramatically. Her ventricles have shrunken significantly, and her brain has more than quadrupled in size since birth. This is really, really, really great news, and made both James and I cry to see it represented visually. Praise God! Please pray that her brain continues to grow and develop healthily!

This before (R) and after (L) comparison shows that

Adelyn's brain has been recovering as well as could be hoped!

2. Pray for Adelyn's strength and development. The suspension of Adelyn's therapies is a huge blow to her comfort, growth, and maturation. While some of Adelyn's therapists may have the ability to video call in advice, that is no substitute for the care they have provided Adelyn. As I do my best to fill in the gap, ask for grace and wisdom and supernatural intuition. Ask that the therapists are able to safely return to making home visits soon.

3. Pray that Adelyn will suddenly and miraculously start eating by mouth! It was our intention to begin treatment at UNC's feeding clinic after our many dead ends in this aspect of her growth. Her continued vomiting has made eating just an awful daily experience that consumes much of her (and our) time. Alas, the hospitals, clinics, therapists and doctor offices have canceled or rescheduled all appointments until after May. I can hardly believe we will have to wait at least 60-90 days before we can even begin to address Adelyn's feeding issues again. Please ask that God will work miracles while the medical field is semi-closed to us.

4. Please ask that Adelyn will continue to qualify for the programs, therapies, equipment, and nursing she needs to thrive at home, pray that the health system is able to catch up so that her therapies especially will be able to resume, and that these services will be covered by insurance. Specifically ask that the shut downs do not negatively impact the processing of her CAP/C application, which is due in April, has been a year in the making, and is nearly completed.

5. We are moving this weekend. What terrible timing. It has not been easy or convenient to repair, furnish, and outfit our new place from scratch in this season of our lives. Add store closings, empty grocery shelves, and social distancing to the mix and we are really in a pickle. No couch, no mattresses, no TV, no food storage, no pantry staples, no toilet paper, no time... We are really looking forward to being in a larger space, and how grateful we are for the chance to make ourselves a home, but please pray that the stress of trying to improve our circumstances is not our undoing. Also ask for blessings to be heaped upon our landlord and his family as we say goodbye to "the duplex," for they have been the epitome of generosity and hospitality.

6. Please pray for God's protection and for His provision in all the Rosenbergs' needs!

Help

1. Thank you to all who have given a gift of diapers and/or wipes! Your generosity is overwhelming. Adelyn has more than enough for the next two years! (Updated April 8, 2020)

2. Check in on those vulnerable to or most affected by Covid-19: the elderly, the chronically ill, the hourly wage folks whose jobs are threatened, and the medical professionals who are bearing the weight of this pandemic. Be generous when you see a need. And even if you aren't someone at risk, follow your government's and the CDC's recommendations, because that's how you help keep folks (like the kiddos in our family) safe!

3. Please, at this time, do not send me an idea for another craft, or website, or book, or song... Or do! But please don't oversimplify the difficulty of this season of our lives by thinking that sharing those things is the fix I need. My parenting is not suffering from a lack of inspiration or resources, it is suffering from a shortage of hours in the day, an inability to clone myself or be two places at once, and no way to resolve either of those challenges. That is all. ;)

Holidays and the Hospital

G TUBE SURGERY
On November 15th, shortly after Laura & James celebrated their 10-year-wedding anniversary, Adelyn had surgery to place a G Tube. While under anesthesia, she had a low profile button placed that allows us to pump breastmilk and medicine directly into her stomach. The surgery was successful and straightforward, though her recovery was not. The anticipated three-day hospital stay stretched into five days as we and Adelyn's medical team worked hard to manage her pain and help her tolerate the new feeding process.

What complex emotions surrounded this event.

There were clear benefits, like a semi-permanent solution to getting our baby nourishment, and thus the invaluable ability to keep her alive! It was also wonderful to be rid of the NG Tube that was a constant source of irritation and discomfort. How we love seeing our baby girl's face without tubes taped across her sweet cheeks!

On the flip side, there is our disappointment that she is refusing to eat by mouth, the pain of watching her go through another surgery, the frustration that she continues to experience discomfort during meals, and the exhaustion of a feeding routine that is so time consuming.

As it has been with each new scar, it was a shock to see the plastic "button" protruding from our sweet baby's belly for the first time in the hospital. Despite the hundreds of conversations and pictures and demonstrations to help prepare us, it was still an unwelcome change. How can Laura, as her mother, describe that feeling to you? The beautiful, smooth skin that we once kissed and blew raspberries upon is now obstructed with a constant reminder that our child is dependent upon a machine to eat.

Now, many weeks since Adelyn's surgery, the G Tube has normalized for us and is just part of her baby routine and care. But because she continues to eat seven times a day, struggles to keep meals down, and has lots of discomfort around feeding, it seems like we are in a constant battle to keep her nourished. Thankfully, though we have not yet achieved what we hoped in many of her feeding goals, Adelyn has continued to gain weight and grow.

HALLOWEEN, THANKSGIVING & CHRISTMAS
Holidays have been both sweeter and more challenging with Adelyn's medical needs. It has been strange to find ourselves in the hospital for doctor appointments on the eve of major holidays, or to have to figure out alternative therapy times to Christmas Day. You have heard it said that moms don't get sick days. Well, Adelyn doesn't get a break from having special needs either.

Nevertheless, celebrating Adelyn's firsts as a family has been precious, and perhaps even more so because we are constantly reminded that each of her milestones and every day of her life is a miraculous gift.

James' parents came from California in late October, and Owen took costume inspiration from Durham's Life & Science Museum for our evening of trick-or-treating. Adelyn went as a Monarch butterfly, Owen as a ring-tailed lemur, James as a red wolf, Laura as a museum employee, and Dave & Joy as astronauts.

For Thanksgiving, Laura's parents and brother traveled to us and took over the Chlebouns' house (while they were out of town) and cooked a feast! We probably would've eaten at Pizza Hut had it not been for their labors of love in the kitchen.

And this past week our family of four traveled to the coast to spend the week of Christmas with the Chapmans and were later joined by the Chlebouns. It was Adelyn's longest trip in the car by far (unsurprisingly she screamed most of the 2 1/2 hour drive), and only her second time to church (she slept through the Christmas Eve service outside because the auditorium was far too loud) but it was so worth it to be together with these loved ones for baby's first Christmas.

GROWTH
Today, December 28th, Adelyn is eight months old! Adelyn has cut her first two teeth, has begun to hold her head up independently for longer periods of time, is log rolling across the floor, is adding new consonants to her babbling, and is practicing sitting up in a specialized chair. Her shrieks of excitement and laughter (what paralyzed vocal cord??), her fixation on books, mirrors and lights (several tentative vision diagnosis have recently been removed from her list of problems), and her ability to play with her toes, grasp toys, and chew and suck on her paci (initial motor skill development goals met!) have us cheering daily. If ever we feel discouraged, we turn our eyes upon Christ and give Him thanks for all the ways Adelyn is a precious part of our lives and exceeding expectations.

FUTURE PLANS
Since our baby girl's birth we have hoped that there may yet be a chance that our family could return to our lives and work in East Asia. At the same time, Adelyn's health and growth is our first priority, and we will not overlook the wellbeing of any member of our family as we consider next steps. While we feel reluctant to step off the eight-year toehold we have chiseled out overseas, it is evident that we must explore options closer to the medical care Adelyn currently needs. One of the opportunities we are considering is working with international students on one or more of the campuses nearby. This would allow us to use our language skills and cultural knowledge locally, while maintaining those gifts in the event that we could one day return to our international work.

Prayer Requests
Please continue to pray for Adelyn Gray and our family:

1. Upon hearing Adelyn's feeding therapists and nurses complain that it seemed like she still has a tongue tie, we scheduled a follow-up with her ENT specialist. (Adelyn had her tongue tie clipped while under anesthesia for a catheterization procedure several months ago.) The specialist confirmed that the revision was unsuccessful. Because we desire to avoid another full-fledged surgery, she will have her tongue clipped (AGAIN) with local anesthesia on January 3rd. As she is slightly older than normal for this to take place as an office procedure, pray she will be cooperative and not experience any undue pain!

2. As we gear up to introduce Adelyn to solid foods, please pray that her tongue heals quickly, that her gag reflex becomes desensitized, that she develops a taste for purees, and that she enjoys these new aspects of eating as they are introduced to her! Also pray that her acid reflux discomfort and feeding intolerance issues diminish.

3. Please pray that her brain continues to grow and develop healthily.

4. Pray for Adelyn's strength and development! Ask that she would continue to make strides in holding her head up and sitting upright.

5. Please ask that Adelyn will continue to qualify for the programs, therapies, equipment, and nursing she needs to thrive at home, and that these services will be covered by insurance. Pray for the excellent nurses and therapists and doctors who assist in her care.

6. Praise God that Owen seems fully recovered from his concussion! And also that he is such an awesome big brother. Please continue to pray for him as he navigates big feelings around sharing his parents, fear of "babies dying," has unsatisfying answers when he asks about when we'll "go home to China," and all the other challenges that come standard to toddlerhood.

7. Please pray for God's provision in all the Rosenbergs' needs. Pray we would clearly hear God's voice as we seek His direction and will for our lives.

Eating is Hard

TUBE FREE FEEDING TRIAL
In early October, Adelyn's feedings began to take a turn for the worse. With nothing to lose, we gained the approval of her medical team and initiated a tube free feeding trial. Our hope was that if we pulled out the NG tube and allowed Adelyn to experience hunger between bottle feedings, she would have more motivation to eat her meals by mouth.

For three days Adelyn drank her breast milk by bottle alone. It was exhausting work for everyone. Adelyn had to eat every two hours around the clock in the attempt to keep up with the minimum liquid intake required for hydration. On the morning of the third day, Adelyn had some of her personal best and largest meals ever! We were so proud of our fighter! Alas, later that afternoon she quit eating almost entirely. She was plain worn out. When she stopped having wet diapers, we knew it was time to replace her NG tube.

Even at her best, Adelyn remained shy of her goals for hydration, and she was far from the volumes that are necessary for healthy nutrition and growth. It was a good experience for our family, as it showed us her strength, as well as revealed her continued need for help eating. We feel better able to accept the next steps in Adelyn's journey, and appreciate her medical team's support as we gave Adelyn some freedom to try things on her own.

G TUBE
As Adelyn approaches her half-birthday (she'll be six months old on October 28th), the deadline for getting off a NG tube has arrived. On November 15th, Adelyn will have a G tube surgically placed in her tummy. If all goes well, she will be hospitalized for three days. (For those of you who heard that her surgery was scheduled for James & Laura's anniversary, the original date was changed because the surgeon will be out of town on November 7th. While we are frustrated that the procedure has been pushed back, we are grateful we do not have to spend our 10-year-wedding anniversary in the hospital.)

(Thanks, Nai Nai and Grandpa for the Duke outfit!)

We are sad that Adelyn needs a G tube. It means another surgery, it means another hospital stay, it means another scar, it means new feeding challenges, and it means Adelyn is on a much longer road to learning to eat by mouth than we want for her. On the positive side, she will no longer have a tube irritating her face and throat. Her acid reflux symptoms may improve with the NG tube removed. It won't be as easy for her to pull the G tube out (as it will be under her clothes), and she will be able to have her hands free!

Adelyn will continue to work on her feeding skills, but the hope that she will take all her calories by breast or bottle has passed. We are now looking toward more long term goals of her learning to eat "by spoon and cup."

GRANDS, BEACH, AND A PUPPY
Owen and Laura took a mother/son weekend away. We enjoyed being together with the Chapman grandparents, Uncle Mark, and the Chlebouns. There were fun surprises like a new boxer puppy, and wonderful adventures like a blustery morning at the beach.

It was a refreshing change of pace and scenery, but we were eager to get back to Daddy and Addie. We missed them terribly while we were gone!

OWEN TAKES A TURN IN THE ER
A week ago Owen suffered a concussion after falling from a swing at the park. (As if we didn't have enough excitement and medical crises in our household, right?) Laura took our poor kiddo to an urgent care after he began vomiting, and he was later transferred to Duke Children's ER via ambulance.

A CT scan showed that there was no critical head trauma, but other symptoms led to a diagnosis of a nasty concussion. He was kept all afternoon and evening for observation and then released home with directions for us to keep close watch over him and limit his activities.

He's doing ok, but we've been cautioned full recovery from the bonk on his head may take anywhere from one week to six months. Whew. Though most of this experience was no fun at all, Owen has been a trooper and even enjoyed parts (like the ambulance ride and praise from doctors and nurses). We know accidents are a normal part of childhood, but man. Sometimes it feels like we can't stay out of the hospital!

Prayer Requests
Please continue to pray for Adelyn Gray and out family:
1. Please pray for Adelyn's surgery on November 15th to place a G tube. Ask that she heals quickly and with a minimal hospital stay. Pray that the gains from the switch to a G tube outweigh the negatives. May she progress in her eating by mouth goals, and may we succeed in keeping feedings positive experiences. Pray against an aversion to the bottle!
2. Please continue to pray that Adelyn's brain will recover and grow normally. Ask that her left vocal cord will also heal.
3. Pray for Adelyn's strength and development. Praise God that Addie is starting to hold her head up for short periods of time in an upright position! Next, please pray she will be able to lift and hold her head steady from a prone position.
4. Pray that Adelyn will continue to qualify for the programs, therapies, equipment, and nursing she needs to thrive at home, and that these services will be covered by insurance! Pray for the excellent nurses and therapists who assist in her care.
5. Please pray that Owen will recovery fully from his concussion soon. Especially ask that his transition back to preschool is uneventful.
6. For God's provision in all the Rosenbergs' needs.

Help!
With Adelyn's surgery on November 15th, Laura's sister has relaunched the MEAL TRAIN for our family. Not needing to worry about dinners during the week of her hospitalization and in the weeks following as we work on new feeding routines will greatly ease some of our daily stress. Thank you!